How did I get from the point of hating relief society to loving it?

Ok so i was one of those young women who did not want to go to Relief Society.  I actually stayed in Young Womens until I was 19 haha.  I used to dread going there with all the adults talking about kids, temple marriage, and all those grownup things that I didn't need to worry about yet.  Since I have gotten married and have been in Relief Society though I love it.  If I miss all of my other meetings I will still make it to Relief Society, and when the lessons are being taught I find them so helpful and strenghtening.  I feel like i grow each time i go to Relief Society, and now this once upon a time nuisance has become a huge blessing! There are in fact only two things I dislike about Relief Society and that is 1) I sit all alone, and 2) Super Saturdays are apparently no more :(  Can i just say that number two makes me more sad than number one? I think that Super Saturdays were the best!  I am by no means a homemaker, and I don't consider myself a very creative person but on those Saturdays I felt like i was able to get into that mode and make all these creative things for my home. I hold out hope and I have faith though that my Heavenly Father will see my need and either bring back Super Saturdays to my ward or that he will provide another way for me to learn homemaking skills!

Life and Marriage

I have been thinking a lot lately about marriage.  I work in a retirement home and I get to be around quite a few couples who have made it through life together and have been in each others lives for 50+ years.  I have seen how these couples treat eachother, how they take care of each other, and most importantly how they love each other.  I have heard their pet names, seen quiet signs of affection, and I have seen many relationships that I would love to model my marriage after.  When I see all of these couples around me it makes me so happy. I love to watch as a husband brings breakfast in bed up to his wife, or see a wife fret over her husbands health.  It gives me hope that I will be there someday.  I want to have a relationship that has stood the test of time and more importantly one that is ready to face eternity.  I have watched as spouses of my residents have passed and I have seen them grieve and silently accept their loss, and I have also heard them talk of reuniting with their sweetheart and the joy it will bring.  I love marriage and in a world where marriage is losing my merrit I want to say that I believe in marriage and it is definitely a relationship worth fighting for.  I love my husband more than words can express and I am so happy that we have a marriage that will last not only for time but for eternity!

Who I want to be.

Lately I have found myself thinking about the person I want to be... There are so many things that I want to do and want to be but sometimes I find I have a hard time trying to figure out how to get to that person I want to be. I want to be strong. I want to be able to handle the stresses of life and not feel overwhelmed but everytime I think I am doing that something happens that usually gets me so worked up that not only that stress but all the other stresses that I tried to put out of my mind hit me like a ton of bricks and I crumple. My husband says he doesn't like giving me bad news because he knows that it will upset me, and I don't want that. I want my husband to feel like he can share the burdens of life with me and I won't crumple under the weight of them and leave him to bear the burden alone. Second of all I want to be kind always. You know those people who you never hear a mean word out of their mouth, and nothing seems to bother them? I want to be like that I want to be christ like and to forgive instantly and to have kinds words for everyone, but I still find myself getting frustrated with someone and saying harsh words against them. For like a week I did really well if I thought a mean word I word stop myself and repent and say one nice thing about that persone but then that bad habit came back and I thought mean things once again. I guess what I need to do is repent daily and if I have a bad day where I do think or say unkind things I need to make my goal to not do that the next day or something.  I also want to be beautiful.  Now you might be thinking I mean physically but that's not what I am talking about. I want to have a beautiful soul, I want others to think I am beautiful not because of my face, my haircut, my makeup, but because of my deeds, my faith, and my service. I think in general I just want to be a better person.  I want to be someone that God will look at and say, "Now that is someone who is trying her best to make it back to me." As I get older I realize that is the goal, to be someone God will be proud of and not someone the world will be proud of. Beauty doesn't matter if it is only skin deep, that beauty fades. Success does not matter if you are not willing so serve those less fortunate. Above all Life doesn't not matter if you don't make your life worth living. Partying, Flings, Drugs, Alcohol, none of that makes life worth living. Love, Faith, Family, God, and Friendship is what makes life worth living, Are we willing to make our lives worth living? I sure want to try. I want to be someone who loves life and someone who is truly happy in their own skin.