General Women's Conference 2011

       Ok so the General Women's Conference was awesome this weekend.  My favorite talk was the one by President Uchdorf.  It was entitled forget me not.  He talked about the beauty of the forget me nots and how they are often overlooked because they are so small.  He talked about how the forget me not has 5 petals and that each petal can be a reminder to us of things we should forget.
       The 1st petal is forget not to be patient with yourself.  I think this is an important thing for us to forget not because I know I am not very patient with myself.  The fact is we are human and we will make mistakes and we aren't perfect.  We need to be more patient with ourselves and look for our little steps of progress instead of focusing on all the things we do wrong.
       The 2nd petal is forget not the difference between good sacrifices and foolish sacrifices.  So to me this means sacrificing your time for to do charity for others.  That is a good sacrifice :) This is one I need to do better. 
       The 3rd petal is forget not to be happy now.  I love this one because I felt like he was talking to me.  I feel like sometimes I find reasons not to be happy and instead I need to find reasons to be happy and there are a lot more reasons to be happy than there are not to be happy.  He used the analogy of the movie Willey Wonka and the chocolate factory.  He talked about how chocolate was something that brought happiness and when the golden tickets were put in those chocolate bars the chocolate lost all of its joy.  People weren't happy with just chocolate anymore now they could only be happy if they found one of the golden tickets inside.  Isn't it sad that so many people can't just be happy with just chocolate? Why do we need that golden ticket? We should be thankful and happy with what we have instead of searching for a golden ticket.
       The 4th petal is forget not the why of the gospel. We have a list of what we need to do in the gospel and how but we need to remember the why.  Why are we doing this? Why do we believe? We need to remind ourselves why every single day!
       The 5th petal is forget not that he loves you.  This one is so important.  I think we always know Heavenly Father loves us but I think sometimes we forget.  I know that sometimes it is really hard for me because I feel like I am alone or I don't have friends or that I am not receiving the blessings I want but I need to remember he loves me. He knows my life plan better than I do and he knows what I need better than I do so I need to trust that and remember he loves me and he will take care of me.
       I loved this talk and I loved conference!  It is always so nice to hear the leaders of our church and to hear the messages they have received inspiration that we need to hear.  I can't wait until next week so we can receive more guidance on the things we need to work on.
         

Hard to keep in.

Ok so it's been a while but I haven't had much time to blog.  I just finished my internship for school and wow it was tiring.  I barely had time to worry about anything else but thank goodness it is done and I graduated!  So now my mind turns to other things.  Getting a new job, putting Cody through the police academy, more schooling for myself, and.... kids.  For about 5 months now Cody and I have not been preventing kids from coming and so far nothing so I guess it's not time yet but I wish it was.  I know our lives are a bit hectic right now, and I know having kids will be the hardest jobs we will ever take on but yet I still can't wait.  I love kids and the fact that I am in an eternal marriage with an amazing man just makes me want to bring more craziness and love into our family.  We originally wanted to keep our "trying" secret because we have felt the harsh judgement from family and friends on our other decisions and we didn't want to hear all the, "You really should put that off for five years or so you are young," comments that we know we would get.  Now... It slipped out haha.  First I slipped with my mom I didn't mean to tell her honestly but it happened.  Then some friends found out.  Then Cody's mom.... and now I am leaking it in my blog.  I just am tired of trying to hide it.  I am tired of feeling so frustrated that it's not happening yet and then not feeling like I can tell anyone about my frustrations because they don't know I am trying haha.  So now whoever reads this knows.  Which I can't help to think at most times is no one still but oh well.  I feel like writing it or typing it down is a release and that is what I need.  I am trying so hard to be patient and to live on the Lord's time and not mine but it is so hard when I feel like there are pregnant people all around me and babies and people talking about how much they love being mothers... It makes it hard.  I am trying though and that's all I can say I am trying to wait patiently hopefully that pays off soon. :)

Raising the bar!

This past wednesday I was sitting in my career development class and my teacher was talking about raising the bar.  He talked about what employers want and how you get to be indesposable and I was interested.  I thought to myself about how I could raise the bar at my current job. I work in an environment where the people I serve and the people I work with can be difficult and I am kind of a complainer.  Don't get me wrong I am a very hard worker and I always try to do my best and be the kind of worker that I would want if I were the employer but I complain and I don't always have a positive attitude towards others so I have decdided to be more positive.  There is one person at my work who I have a very hard time with and I decided that I was going to be completely positive and try to like her and be positive about working with her I was about half way through the day and I was doing really well.  I had been positive with this person all day and I was being pleasant and I was feeling good then something happened.  Let's just say I felt like they over stepped a boundary with me and so I immediately went from being positive to negative just as fast as you could say hi.  After my positivity broke down I immediately felt horrible.  I had made a goal and I couldn't even be positive for one day!  I felt bad for getting upset and disappointed in myself for not raising the bar and rising above it. I did realize however that I wanted to change and that even though I had slipped I could try again and renew my goal so that is what I did.  I shook the negativity and again tried to be positive with them.  I hope that I can do better this next time and even though I might mess up again I will keep trying. Practice makes perfect. 

Going from that point I need to be more positive with myself so I have to ask.... any tips?  I find myself feeling bad about my looks or physical aspects especially so if you have any tips hit me up with them.  I don't want to be insecure and negative when looking at myself in the mirror I want to be able to get up in the morning and say no I am not a perfect person but I am the perfect me and I am beautiful.  So.... HELP! :)

Sorry if anyone cares!

Ok so I don't know if anyone cared that I wasn't writing but if you did sorry!  My life got super crazy!  I was hit with a lot of stress and school stuff, and I just couldn't find time to write!  I am happy to report though that things are going well now and that my stress level is a lot lower than it was a week ago!  I am still trying to be myself and improve myself as well.  I had a good chance to do that this last week.

I won't say details but a girl I work with was going through a rough week too last week and so I decided to do something a little nice for her.  I hope this doesn't take away from it but I don't think it will.  So my plan was to not have anyone know that I had done this for her because I didn't need a thanks or recognition or anything, but they figured out it was me.  I was kinda bummed because I thought to myself now that they knew it was me it took away from the charity I was trying to give that person but then upon further thought I realized it didn't matter if they found out.  I did this act of charity for that person.  If I had done it for recognition I would have boasted of the act and let it be known that I was the one who did the charity for her but instead I didn't.  I tried to keep it quiet I even snuck into the room and made sure no one saw me but I know that my motive was known.  Later the girls said to me that they thought it was me because of the manner in which I performed the charity and I thought that was interesting.

You see the girls at my work are all extremely kind hearted but I know that they are not LDS.  The reason I thought to do this charity was because of conference.  I think it is amazing that because of a talk by a church leader I was reminded of charity and thought to do something for this girl.  I don't think I would have if I didn't have the church in my life and I don't mean that disrespectfully towards anyone of any faith I just mean for me personally it wouldn't have happened. 

I know I can be selfish, and I have moments where others aren't in my thoughts at all but because of the church I am reminded of others constantly and because of this I can see beyond myself and help others.  Recently I have been a little all about Bree and I am so glad conference reminded me that if I get lost in helping others I will be able to regain that caring attitude I started out with at work, and the nurturing aspect I want in my marriage and my life. 

I love the LDS church and I want everyone to know that I have a testimony in charity.  When you help others you can find joy, peace, and blessings that you would never have found otherwise.

Day 9 and 10 uh oh

Ok so day nine didn't work out haha I was going to go to a hotel and go swimming with my husband but we didn't end up going and instead we stayed home and had a surprise date night!  We watched Tangled and it was awesome!  Haha so swim suit thing didn't work out but no worries because I really am going swimming next friday so we will get that in just later.  Ok so even though I didn't go swimming I did challenge myself to do something!  I challenged myself to really listen to conference this weekend and so far so good!  I have really loved the talks so far they have talked a lot about families and spouses and charity and I really want to have all of those things, and to make sure I don't take them for granted and realize that even though they require a lot of work they can bring so much joy and fullness to my life. 

I always have a hard time with charity haha because I want to do it!  I just don't know how to.  I don't really know anyone from my ward and in fact don't really socialize too much outside of work but I need to and I want to.  I want to help people, and I don't want to be selfish.  There are so many people who are suffering out there and if I can make a difference in some of their lives then I want to do that.  So I think that is going to be a goal of mine... DO MORE CHARITY!!!!

Ok let's move on to my challenge for today.  This one is a hard one for me but I am excited!  Today I am going to post my previous weight and my current weight on facebook for all to see.  I am doing this because I used to not care if people knew how much I weighed and I want to get back to that so there ya go this one will be no fun for me but I am proud of how much weight I lost and I am not afraid to admit it needed to come off.  I am not overweight anymore and that is something to be proud of! 

Day 7 and 8 my silly style and no makeup!

Ok I missed a day again! haha I am kinda failing but it's ok life is just crazy!  Day 7 I did no makeup and that one wasn't too bad!  I did have a zit that I wanted to cover up but I didn't and it was pretty easy after I forgot about that.  I think though this is something that has gotten easier for me as I have gotten older because my skin used to be kinda bad and I would usually just cover it up with make up and now that I am older my skin is better, and I can be ok without makeup in front of people. :)

Ok Day 8 which is today I chose to wear the accessories I love and this one was fun.  I wore my owl ring that I just got this past weekend and then I wore my big cool earrings haha.  I love accessories and I love them when they are different! 

I think that this 21 day challenge has really helped me so far.  I have been learning more about myself, and I think that I have been getting closer to my husband and the lord.  Today something happened that upset me and instead of letting it consume me and freaking out I thought about the situation in reverse, like if I had been the one that made someone else upset because of my actions and I prayed for strength and patience in the situation.  Then when I did deal with it I was calm and forgiving and understanding and I know that Heavenly Father helped me get there.  I also know that I was able to do this because my husband has always been understanding and comforting with me and he has helped me learn more about myself just as The Lord has.  I can't wait to keep learning about myself and trying things that I might not have done before because I was too worried about what people thought of me.  I know that I am a good person and that I am trying my hardest, my family knows that, and God knows that and that's what matters! :)

Stick with me cuz tomorrow I am supposed to go swimming haha

Ok so day6 is it? Oh and recap on day5!

Ok sorry to disappoint Annie but I did not have a microphone with me in the car and also I was super bummed cuz there were no good songs on the radio :( :(  But I still did it.  I found a song that was ok and I rocked it out and microphone (Pretend one) sang!  Then you know what happened?  A lady ran a red light and almost killed me....  Maybe it was a sign saying I should sing haha.  It was fun though and even though I was very mad at almost dying I shook it off and continued my solo dance party haha.  I will probably do it again someday although maybe next time it will be when Cody James is driving. :)  He would love that!

Ok so day 5 I decided to be honest all day long and I have to say nothing really came up where I would be unhonest.  So I guess I passed but this day was like the first day and I will keep working on being honest.  Oh but I did remember I did have a very honest conversation with Cody James today so I guess that counts.  Go me!  Can I just say I have no clue why I keep calling Cody that today but I like it! 

Anyway back to honesty.  It's not like I haven't been honest but I think today was more about being honest with myself and with Cody and I did.  I took what he had to say in our little talk today and told him my honest opinion even though his plan scares me I understand it and I have to say that I trust him.  That right there is a big deal.  I don't give out trust easily but he has won mine and I know he will always do everything possible to support me and treat me well so I trust him.  That folks is the honest truth. 

If I am honest with myself I would have to say that I am not sure I want to be a Medical Assistant, I am not sure what else I would want to do, and that's ok with me.  I will figure it out on the way and I will do it all with Cody :)